If you are struggling with grief at the moment, whether it’s a result of loss or not meeting your own expectations regarding life objectives, you are not alone. I know everyone hears that often, but it’s true. We all experience low periods in our lives and it’s a common bond we can all share in together.
If you’re anything like me, it’s difficult to know how to begin digging yourself out and initiating the rebuilding process. Both my Mars and Venus are in beautiful Pisces, which means I approach relationships and conflict in a dreamy, sentimental way. I have trouble protecting my emotions and often get lost in nostalgia. I treat loss and heartbreak like the death of a loved one, taking a piece of me with it, which can feel quite devastating and crippling.
The first step for me is truly understanding myself and not letting my negative character traits get the best of me. I obviously do some of this through Astrology, but I encourage you to know yourself better in any way you see fit, whether that’s keeping a journal or talking to a trusted friend about how they perceive you, etc.
I certainly allow myself to be tossed about in seas of emotion when I am in low periods of life and that tends to translate into lack of action plans. I usually sleep my way through grief and fill my hours with mindless, non-productive activities like scrolling or just plain sitting. Knowing what to do next or where to go can often be a hurdle for me.
Enter self-help podcasts! I’ve turned to these before, but they really do help and I love sharing what I’ve found with you all. This first one is simple and effective, which is perfect for taking the first step. It’s a shorty, but I’ll summarize below for quick reading:
Routines and exercises are the name of the game for me. What can I do to get myself moving in a forward direction? How can I combat grief while not overwhelming myself or pushing too hard in the beginning? Zack Rutledge is the guest host on this episode and he is also the author of “The Official Depression Relief Playbook”. He talks here of a “D-Day approach”, which basically means to do everything you can in your power to help yourself.
Simple and actionable:
1. You need to workout. There exists so much science behind the mind-related benefits of moving your body and how it can also positively impact the brain. Johnson and Johnson makes a 7 minute workout app to easily get you started and Rutledge recommends doing this at least 3-4 days a week. These exercises can all be done without weights and are perfect if you are mentally burdened by the process of working out. I just found a new gym for myself and will be getting started this week!
2. Box breathing, which is a step further than deep breaths. Do all of these breathing exercises through your nose to activate your parasympathetic nervous system, which is your rest and digest system. Breathe in for a count of 4, hold for a count of 4, exhale for a count of 4, and then hold for a count of 4. Deep belly breathing. An element of control is added from the holding of your breaths, and we all know how much control can play a part when you feel like life is spiraling away from you. Do this a couple times a day.
3. Make goals for your day, write them down, and break them into micro-goals. When you break your lists into micro-goals, it makes things a lot more manageable and helps you feel more productive, which helps boost self-esteem and reduce anxiety.
4. Don’t be afraid of medication. This is one topic that I won’t touch on much here because I have actually never explored the world of mental health related medication and can’t speak much on the subject. But, if you feel like your anxiety and self-confidence should be improving, but it’s not, consult with your doctor and talk with them about your options. Medication should be normalized and is nothing to be afraid or ashamed of. The first few weeks and months are always the hardest, but it WILL get better.
5. Surround yourself with positive media. Whether that is books, podcasts, self-help apps, whatever works for you, make sure you are constantly learning and staying positive. Keep away from the negativity of social media and what triggers you to fall back into old patterns of behavior. As Rutledge states, “Feed the courage wolf” within yourself.
Don’t be afraid of the growth process and forgive yourself for the ups and downs that come with healing and self-improvement. Talk to me about how your feeling. Let’s share stories and share resources. I’m here for you and I love you for wanting to help yourself move forward!
