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Listening To My Body


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Last Monday, I injured my neck while working out and the pain came on in an odd, slow manor.  I honestly have no idea what the trigger trauma was, but by Tuesday morning, I was in excruciating pain.  I literally could not move my head without feeling a sharp, stabbing pain in the back of my neck, at the base of my skull.  I tried gently stretching side-to-side, up and down, but nothing alleviated the hurt.  You take for granted how much you use your neck muscles until you are injured.  I couldn’t wash or brush my hair, tilt my head back to take a drink of water, tilt my head forward to look at my computer, ride in a car, laugh, sneeze, or even open my mouth wide.  The WORST was swallowing.  Every single swallow left me wincing in pain, and I had no idea how I was going to get through it.  I also couldn’t lay my head on any type of pillow, in any position, so sleep was in short supply last week and I had to stay home from work.  By Thursday, I was dying for some type of relief.  I finally went to urgent care and they examined my neck and prescribed a neck brace along with some pain killers stronger than ibuprofen.  After alternating hot and cold compresses for days, the muscles in my neck and back were utterly exhausted.  I had been holding my head in one position for almost a week, trying to avoid any little movement, and my upper body felt unbelievably tight.

Turns out they suggested the cause of my pain was what’s called “Occipital Neuralgia”, an inflammation of the occipital nerves that run through the neck and along the scalp.  This causes a deep, throbbing, constant pain that runs along the base of the head (mine was on the right side).  And wouldn’t you know, they told me that if there wasn’t an obvious injury to the area, the primary cause is usually stress or chronic, tense neck muscles.  “Well, I’m not surprised,” is exactly what I told them.  They did some routine blood tests and sent me on my way.  I basically begged for a steroid shot to reduce the inflammation, something called a “nerve block”, but they said they would need to do an MRI first before resorting to injections.

Oddly enough, I also got to see my precious Morgan this weekend, and when she saw how much pain I was in, she gave me a cranial massage, and softly whispered in my ear, “I think the cause of this may be more mental than physical”.  With zero prompting.  I couldn’t believe how right she was and how much she was able to peer into my soul when I was not.  It made me tear up.  We provided each other with some lovely moments of mental catharsis that were almost as important as the physical healing that was taking place.

I am finally starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel.  I feel my body slowly returning to baseline health after what I was sure was imminent death last week.  I’m honestly itching to return to work today and head back to the gym.  Morgan gave me some exercises for deliberate breathing, which I plan on incorporating into my stretching and resistance workouts.  Deep breaths in through the nose, holding for a moment, and then releasing through the mouth.  I need to learn to better value the link between my physical and mental health and listen to my body when it’s crying out for help.

I have found that when you can’t work, sleep, or even move, distractions are much harder to come by.  It gets much more difficult to run from your emotions.  All I want to do right now is throw my entire body back into workouts and distract myself by any means necessary, but I have to resist that urge.  Slow and steady has to be my current mantra.  It’s a perfect time to start moving my body again, with deliberate connection to my breath, in order to achieve a more mentally clear and emotionally calm, stable state.