First day of audition season and I hit it hard with a dance call for Papermill! Pretty frekin’ proud of myself today for getting back in the game after a very lethargic holiday season. My sleep schedule is completely out of wack, which is currently killing my morning energy. I’m going to have to slowly adjust to going to bed earlier and waking up sooner and it may require a sleep aid for the first couple nights or possibly taking my damn vitamins earlier in the day so I’m not bouncing off the walls at midnight.
So, it’s January 2nd and all things considered, I feel pretty good, physically. I am satisfied with my weight, my muscle mass, and even my stamina today, but what killed me in my audition was my memory. It’s something that we don’t think much about when we’re taking dance classes and prepping for dance calls. It’s not the technique or flexibility that held me back, but my inability to learn the combination fast enough. I’m trying really hard to test different methods for learning movement and stringing 8 counts together, but haven’t found my magic beans.
It blows my mind because this type of skill is not exclusive to dancers. The ability to memorize quickly can be accomplished by any performer/person if they use the right techniques and focus correctly. If I had to explain how I’m currently learning combinations, it would be that I’m merely watching and imitating during the learning process instead of placing the steps into my brain. There are little snippets of movement that get committed to memory easier than others, but today, they got done teaching the combination and I literally said to myself, “oh shit. I couldn’t repeat this combination right now if my life depended on it.” I end up needing to use another dancer visually as a crutch for far longer than I should.
I’m toying with possibly coming up with pneumonic devices or mental ticks for remembering these combinations. In general though, I just really need to focus better. I’m not thinking about anything else or letting my mind wander, I’m just…not thinking, haha. And these combinations aren’t difficult necessarily, in terms of skill, and often they’re actually fun and super spicy. Facials, attitude, and style have never been an issue for me as long as my brain doesn’t give me away.
I think practice will definitely help and more dance classes will naturally improve this issue, but I wish there were actual audition prep classes for dancers. Classes that are set up JUST like auditions, where there is no warm up or technique, you just walk in, learn a combination as quickly as possible, and perform it within 10 minutes. If I could do that over and over, I would be one happy dancer. And maybe something like that does exist and I just need to look into it, who knows.
All that really matters is that I did more today than I did yesterday and took a step towards becoming a better performer (or professional auditioner, lol). When I first showed up, I was super intimidated by all 126 equity women and 67 non-equity women. It can feel so overwhelming to be lost in a sea of women who look like they have everything going for them while I’m squeezed into a corner trying to get my life together. But this morning, I took a deep breath and reminded myself that I deserve to be here just as much as anyone else. It also helps to think that maybe some of these girls are looking at me and thinking the same things that I am. Having the same doubts and feeling intimidation by my presence as much as anyone else’s.
I just can’t let my fear defeat me. I have to think of every call as a free dance class and opportunity to learn and grow by studying my competition and working on methods for improvement. Confidence is KEY. They are often looking for attitude over technique, which is easy to forget when your memory is betraying you during performance. Day 1 and done. Onto day 2. Happy 2018, loves! Here’s to hard work and determination.
